Dulcinea
by Yuuki no Yuki
Summary: They called me Dulcinea, and I wept. For Dulcinea was naught but flame and air. Dulcinea, I knew, did not truly exist. Yet, for all my practicality, I was still a Donquixote. Madness ran in my blood. And at the grand age of three I concieved of the strangest project ever imagined-I would save my brother; from himself.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is a concept that's been on my mind for awhile. Doflamingo is an incredibly interesting character and in some ways his very being seems to spit on the concept of 'Don Quixote.' In fact his entire being is to disparage anything Quixotic...

But, this is precisely because his father _was _idealistic, as was his mother, brother, distant relative. He had never seen an idealist prosper and so clung to reality. Yet, what if someone managed to teach him the lessons of his namesake? It seemed worth exploring.

**Spoilers up until chapter 910**

* * *

"_For with his Dulcinea, so to stand, a man can do quite anything, __outfly the bird upon the wing, hold moonlight in his hand. __Yet if you build your life on dreams, it's prudent to recall-__a man with moonlight in his hand has nothing there at all."_

**~ Man of La Mancha ~**

* * *

They called me Dulcinea.

That was my first clue.

It could have been worse, I could have been named for a horse. But no, that was my brother's fate. Instead I was Dulcinea, the unattainable beauty, the thing of dreams. Donquixote Dulcinea sister to one Donquixote Rocinante and Donquixote _Doflamingo_.

They called me Dulcinea, and I wept. For Dulcinea was naught but flame and air. Dulcinea, I knew, did not truly exist.

I was nearly six years younger than Doffy. I want you to think about that, I was born on May 19th, 1490. _Six_ years after Doflamingo, five after Rocinante. I was born nearly fifteen years before the start of the series. I was born ten years before the Great Pirate Age.

Roger was still alive, so was Rouge.

I was born with _so much_ knowledge; I knew about Pluton, Poisidon, Noah, about the men from the moon and the Road Ponoglyphs. I knew about the not so vacant-vacant King's seat, heck about the _hat_, not that I truly understood what that was about. Still, I was born with _so much _knowledge, chief of which was the **certainty **that I could trust _no one_.

Well, Luffy, if our paths ever crossed and he took a shine to me. But even he owed allegiance to his crew first, no, when it came to surviving in this world I knew that I could trust no one. And yet, I needed someone. I was not Mihawk, I couldn't exist, an island onto myself. Even he couldn't keep it up; seeking out Shank's for friendship and gossip.

This left me with quite the quandary for how could I rely on someone I did not trust?

The answer would take me years, and many painful lessons, but eventually I would learn that I could trust someone with my future, without entrusting them with my past. I would learn the meaning of 'crew' in this world, and I would relearn the meaning of 'family.'

A lesson that started at the tender age of 2 when we left Mariejois for the "real world," forsook our place amongst the "gods" and all at the behest of our Papa. Now, if I had been a normal child that 'real' world would be all I could recall. But I wasn't normal, I'd had 24 years of life shoved into my small mind, there was no way I was forgetting those 2 years of bliss.

For that's what they were.

Oh, built on the blood and sweat of others. Responsible for outrageous atrocities, the kinds of things that made one sick to contemplate. But, objectively? The most comfortable place to live _on the planet._

Life was amazing in Mariejois, I never wanted for anything. Mom could spend hours just playing with me, dad would let me flip through books even though I had "no way" of understanding them, and Rocci would fly me in the air like a plane.

Better yet, Doffy would avoid me like the plague. (It would be years before I realized why). But 2 years came and went in the blink of an eye and heaven turned to hell in seconds flat.

I don't recall a feeling beyond "hunger" for that first year. I was just in an endless state of hunger and pain. I was too small to go out and find food with my brothers but I refused to be a burden, and so tried my best to care for our ailing mother. But again, I was 2, my "care" mainly amounted to me sitting by her bedside singing long-forgotten songs.

Doffy always shot me indecipherable looks when I did this. But I ignored it, Papa claimed I was just gifted by the Heavens with an angel's voice. And Rocci never complained about anything I did. Momma smiled. I think that's why Doffy never outright called me on my clearly advanced intelligence, I had the ability to make Momma smile. And if there was one thing Doffy cared about it was preserving that smile.

Songs and smiles can't cure disease, however, and before long we lost our mother. Things only got worse from there. Had I been a normal child, I have no doubt I'd have died back then. As things stood, however, I knew how to survive. I'd been kept from the villagers, hidden away in that small cottage, which meant they hardly knew how I looked.

At the grand age of 3 I traded my fancy (fading) threads from Mariejois for a tablecloth-dress, rubbed some charcoal in my hair to darken the color, adopted the name "Aldonza" and took to the streets.

Between the 3 of us I was always the most successful at begging. And so, took extra care to never be seen anywhere near (let alone _with_) my brothers. It paid off in our continued survival, but even then I agreed with Doffy that it was barely living.

And then, one day, they came, with pitchforks and blindfolds, and hatred in their heart. My "disguise" quickly crumpled around me, and it didn't matter that I was barely 2 feet tall, I was a Celestial Dragon and therefore was worth less than the dirt beneath their feet. (Wasn't reverse racism wonderful?)

I was strung up just like my brothers. Felt the sting of arrows and the heat of flames. Heard myself _begging _for the sweet release of death, and worse, heard the **voices**. Over-and-over, echoing in my soul, a hundred voices filled with hatred.

_Kill them!_

_No! Death is too kind._

_Show them our pain! Make them suffer like us!_

_Let's see your noble blood protect you, now!_

It choked me, infested my mind, made me _**hate **_them, _despise _them_. _I didn't unlock conquerors, I didn't have Doffy's disposition, but I did learn something about myself that day: if it was a choice between the world and my brothers, I'd choose my brothers.

After all, the world never chose _us_.

* * *

I never hated Papa, not like Doffy.

Papa was an idealist, a dreamer. He saw the world not as it was, but as it _should_ be. I couldn't hate him, not for that, not when in my heart-of-hearts I was the same. He was, in all the ways that mattered, the embodiment of our family name. Don Quixote de La Mancha; the knight of the woeful countenance.

I didn't hate him, but I did _blame _him. After all, Alonso Quijano had the good sense not to force others on his quest. All those by his side were there by _choice_.

We never got a choice; Doffy, Rocci and I. Our opinions hadn't mattered, nor our thoughts, just Papa's vision. And while I could agree with his vision the fact that he'd enforced his reality on us had always grated. Even more so when he'd executed his vision so _poorly_.

Perhaps I should have spoken up, perhaps I should have stepped in. But, honestly? It had seemed more cruel to stop Doffy at that point. Especially when I could _hear_ father's voice echoing in my soul.

_Doffy, Rocci, Dulci-I'm sorry. I don't deserve to be called your father. If pain is all I've brought you, then I would rather d-_

_**BANG**_

That was the first time I'd heard a person's "voice" grow dim. But it was hardly the last. Not with my brother standing there, face indecipherable, holding out his hand.

"Well?" Doffy called, back to Rocci, ignoring his cries, "are you coming?"

Doffy would ask me this question many times over our lives. Each circumstance different, but it would never matter, because every time his inner voice would whisper the same thought.

_Well, do you still love me?_

And damn it all, I _did. _He was my brother, they both were, but while Rocci would find a replacement for Papa, Doffy never would. Of the two of them I knew who needed me more.

"Do you even need to ask?"

This was a world of demons and angels. A place where strength of Will was only trumped by taint of blood. A world in which even those closest to you could not be fully trusted. This is a world where one needs to think of themselves and their needs if they ever hope to survive.

Yet, for all my practicality, I was still a Donquixote. Madness ran in my blood. And at the grand age of three I concieved of the strangest project ever imagined-

_I'm going to save this child..._

_-_to fight forces, and foes, I didn't fully comprehend. Take on a world drenched in darkness alongside the heels of Machiavelli himself. To face wickedness head on, and not run, nor fight, but rather embrace it with the love a sibling.

..._from himself._

In some ways, I think, Luffy has it easier.


	2. Chapter 2

"_For neither good nor evil can last forever; and so it follows that as evil has lasted a long time, good must now be close at hand."_

**~ Don Quixote ~**

* * *

Doffy's first order of business was to try and buy our way back into Mariejois...with Papa's head. Needless to say, this did not go over well, not because the citizens of Mariejois were horrified at his act of patricide. (Such things were par course for them.) But, rather, because they were horrified at the...taint...that surely clung to us. After all, we'd been breathing in the "common air" for over a year. Surely we were no better than those commoners ourselves.

Or so went Doffy's angry rant.

I hadn't been allowed to travel with him, being left behind with Rocci halfway up the Redline. Part of me knew this was some vague attempt to protect us from possible fallout should things have gone horribly south. But that same part knew that Doffy wasn't sure he could buy passage for all of us, and if it came down to a choice between us and Mariejois.

Well, I loved my brother, but it seemed awfully presumptuous to assume _he _loved _me_.

So I'd waited with Rocci, and waited, and waited. I'd waited so long that a lesser person would have assumed they'd been abandoned. And, perhaps, if I hadn't been certain that Doffy had failed I would have assumed such. As it stood, however, I knew my brother would return for us.

Rocci, however, didn't have future knowledge to fall back on. Nor did he trust in the words of his younger sister, choosing instead to venture forth to "find" Doffy.

Looking back on it, I probably should have tried harder to get him to stay put. Or, at least, demanded he let me travel with him. But I honestly hadn't thought much of it at the time. Hadn't realized that Rocci, in his clumsiness, would fall off the mountain towards Marine HQ below. Hadn't realized that no amount of searching on Doffy's or my part would uncover him. Hadn't realized that this would be the last time I saw Rocinante for almost fifteen years.

So I had let him go, and when Doffy inevitably returned, angered at his treatment, I was the one to break the news. Our small group had grown even smaller.

It was now just Doffy and I.

* * *

I say "just" Doffy and I, but it was quickly made clear to me that Doffy wasn't as alone as I'd believed. I had never really questioned where Doffy had gotten the pistol. Just assumed he'd managed to "acquire" it in any number of illegal ways. Doffy was always really good at that, after all, getting what he wanted.

I should have been able to remember, but One Piece was such a long show that it was almost a joke to pretend I recalled more than half of it. Oh the plot and characters were burned into my mind but the details? The timeline? Yeah, it wasn't any wonder I didn't recall that Doffy had met with his crew _before _his return from Mariejois.

So imagine my surprise when we stopped at a small island in the North Blue (sea stone coated boats are cheating) only to meet up with Vergo, Pica, Diamante...and Trebol. Even more surprising was the way my brother reacted, not with hostility but rather grudging acceptance.

My reaction was far less kind.

4 years old or not I couldn't control my facial expression at meeting the man who would warp my brother's already twisted moral compass to the point where he could shoot Rocinante in cold blood. Doffy was many things, kind was not one of them, loyal-however-was, and yet they'd warped that loyalty. Perverted it to the point where Doffy woke up in anger every day of his life, with memories of a brother he had once wanted to protect.

Doffy must have picked up on my emotions because he angled himself so as to shield my view of Trebol. I didn't complain; the less of that snot-nose I had to see, the better.

"What do you want?" Doffy asked, voice dripping condescension. I let him take the lead, I had nothing to say to them. Inner circle though they may become I was Doffy's _sister _at least at the moment I was the absolute closest person to him.

I didn't have to bow to the people who were bowing to _my brother_. Even if they were glaring at me while swearing their fealty.

"And who is _she _young master? Will she be swearing her loyalty too?" Trebol cajoled.

_This brat is going to ruin everything!_

I sneered at his inner voice, threw my head back and employed my snottiest tone, "I am Donquixote Dulcinea! And I bow to _**no one**_." Mainly because I didn't agree with this feudal system of swearing fealty to a 'king' and then throwing everything away in pursuit of _their _dream.

True loyalty didn't need to be dressed up in pretty words. It simply _was. _These four wanted to follow Doffy because of his strength, his will. They were only thinking about how far they could go with him on their side. It wasn't about _Doffy. _Not really.

If my brother suddenly became a weakling, if he gave up his dream's of grandeur and settled for mediocrity, if he scoffed at the idea of violence-well I had no illusions that these four would suddenly find themselves a lot less accommodating.

My loyalty wasn't so fickle. I knew my brother, far better than these clowns. Knew where I stood with him, knew how vicious he could be (would become) but just as surely knew that Doffy _did _care, in his own psychotic way.

Doffy thought he deserved better, and he **hated **Papa for taking away his heritage, that's true. But what he _really_ hated was how Papa's decisions had affected Rocci and Mama. He thought them too pure for this world, too soft, and blamed Papa for not protecting them.

When all things were said and done, Doffy _loved _Mama. She was one of the only people who never turned away from him, never shamed him. She was soft, and in Doffy's mind this was okay because mothers were _allowed to be _soft.

Not fathers.

I wasn't too sure how he felt about sisters.

Doffy was smart though, he could tell when people were just trying to use him. He knew that their fake loyalty could be ripped away just as quickly as his Celestial Dragon title. If it was a choice between my loyalty and theirs, well, he'd always been a smart gambler.

"She's my sister, which makes her above **_you."_**

"Of course, young master. We will protect the young miss as if she were our own."

And thus my role was cemented.

I became Doflamingo Dulcinea right hand to the future King of Dressrosa. I refused the title of 'Princess,' "I don't wear a dress or have an animal sidekick, ergo no princess!" But was willing to be called a 'Lady.'

I became the voice of reason in Doffy's psychotic bid for power. The one to temper his more extravagant bouts of rage. Oh, people still died, and for the stupidest of slights. But I limited it where I could, instead of leveling a town for a badly cobbled street they executed the road-paver. Rather than sinking a ship for daring to sail in front of us, Doffy killed the captain.

Small things, little things, but changes all the same. Trebol never noticed, he had no concept of Doffy's true conceit and so couldn't grasp how much my brother curbed himself at my behest. Which was good, since I had no doubt I would have found myself out a bad way if he knew just how much my brother appreciated my counsel.

Then again, Trebol would have no reason to assume that Doffy would trust the words of a girl six years his junior. Not when both Doffy and I had kept my true abilities quiet, I hadn't unlocked Conqueror's Haki like my brother, but I had unlocked _something._

I wasn't sure if it was some incredibly precise form of Observation Haki or if this was what the manga had meant by 'hearing the voice of all' but the fact remained that it was all but impossible to fool me. I couldn't read anyone's mind. Not something so concrete as that, but I could _feel_ their intentions.

The voices that they hid deep in their soul screamed in my head.

More than just passively listen, I could actively _speak. _My brother trusted my counsel because I could speak to him of my loyalty and it would resonate within his soul. He **knew **he could trust me with the same certainty that told him he was destined to rule.

It was one of the only secrets we kept from those four. The knowledge of mt abilities and the existence of Rocci were kept close to the chest, were kept between _family. _That being said, everything else we shared. And over time I even managed to care about them-not as family, but as friends of a sort.

Perhaps that's why, sitting there in Lougetown, watching History be made, I slipped.

"What kind of King let's himself be killed?" Doffy spat, smile strained. "The stupidest thing a man can do is let himself die and take his legacy with him."

"Hmm, but what if dying protects his legacy?" I hadn't meant anything by it, not truly. If anything I had assumed my brother would jump to the obvious conclusion of 'One Piece.'. But I'd forgotten one key fact, my brother could read me just as well as I could read him.

"A child, huh? He would be stupid enough to die for the sake of some kid. Not like the Navy's even gonna let it live."

"I'd like to see them beat out a mother's love."

"...I see. So the brat's gonna live."

I kept quiet. I'd already revealed far too much, and Doffy was always very touchy about mothers. In the end he seemed to decide that Roger was stupid and weak for choosing death. Something about how if you can't protect your children with your own hands you shouldn't risk having them.

I wanted to argue with him, but I couldn't.

Not when I agreed.

But that day marked a change in my relationship with Doffy. The moment he'd come to the realization that my "abilities" could be more than just a passive help to 'our' cause. That marked the day that Doffy consciously acknowledged my ability to tell the future.

From then on I was consulted on every battle plan, every debrief. There was no longer any hiding of my importance from Trebol. Ten years old and I was the unequivocal strategist of the Doflamingo family. I didn't mind, planning the strategies allowed me to curtail damage, lower death counts.

Still, I never quite liked the sound of that, 'Doflamingo Family' I wasn't a Doflamingo, I was a _Donquixote. _That was the name I took pride in, the name I strove to live up to. I mainly ignored this feeling, however, knowing for the most part that it was irrelevant. I mean, family is family, right?

And then I turned 15, and I ran into Rocinante on the streets, and I was forced to acknowledge the truth.

Doflamingo? Donquixote? I couldn't have both.

I'd have to choose.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **I just wanted to thank all those who have read/reviewed Dulcinea, I definitely didn't expect such a big turn out so early on! I'm actually starting a new job, so I'm unsure how often I'll be able to update this fic (I also have so many other fics to work on) but rest assured that it is close to my heart.

Speaking of something close to my heart; **c****hobits15 **made a fanart of Dulcinea! This is my first piece of fanart I've ever received, and I'm so excited! The link is:

/loveangel15/art/Dulcinea-Donquixote-787394815

Please check it out and share the love! Now, without further ado, I give you chapter 3.

* * *

"_I cannot favor the madness that puts a sword in his hand, but I can love the gentle spirit that moves him to measure his sword with evil."_

**~ Man of la Mancha~**

* * *

My brothers were idiots.

Oh, they liked to play at intelligence, especially Doffy, but at the end of the day they were nothing more than immature children doing whatever _they_ wanted. They didn't ever care about how their actions affected others, not really. Rocci liked to think he did, and Doffy liked to think he thought things through.

But they didn't.

Rocci never properly considered what his actions would mean for Doffy, for the people under Doffy, for the innocents like Baby 5 and Buffalo, he didn't even bother thinking about what kind of life Law would lead if he were gone. And Doffy...well, as much as Doffy _tried_ to be an evil mastermind his emotions just got to him sometimes, and the results were nightmares that would plague him for the rest of his life.

No, my brothers were idiots, so it fell to me - as the only one with sense - to take care of them.

Unfortunately, along with being idiots, they were _also_ polar opposites.

On the one hand I had Doffy; the type of man who would happily watch the world burn at his feet. Yet, a man who put absolute stock in _loyalty. _On the other I had Rocci; a kind-hearted person who believed in equality and giving chances. Yet, would willingly _spy on his brother_ for the 'greater good.'

Their stances on life were completely incompatible with each other.

The truth of the matter was I would _never _be able to get the two of them to find common ground. As long as Doffy continued to climb over others to achieve his ends Rocci would feel compelled to stop him. And as long as Rocci stood against him, Doffy would feel betrayed...and Doffy handled betrayal in exactly one way.

The problem was that my brothers (stupidly) saw the world as either-or. Doffy categorized the world as 'worthy' or 'unworthy.' You were either worthy - by virtue of birth (and sometimes strength) - or you weren't.

That simple.

Rocci, however, viewed the world as either 'good' or 'evil.' He was the quintessential marine who believed in helping the less fortunate. He'd come to idolize father and everything he'd stood for, people like that were "good" while people like Doffy (perhaps, _only_ Doffy) were "evil." It didn't matter that Doffy had looked out for us, it didn't matter that Father was the reason for our misery in the first place, it didn't matter that Doffy _cared_ about Rocci. He was 'evil' and that meant he had to be stopped.

They both stupidly, stubbornly, divided the world into black and white. Meanwhile, I happily made camp in every shade of gray imaginable.

Was Doffy a horrible person? Yes. Yes, he was. Did that mean I had to let someone kill him? No, not on your life. Was Rocci willing to betray Doffy, and possibly myself to the marines? Yes. Did _that_ mean he suddenly wasn't my brother? No!

Honestly, it really wasn't that complicated. You could love someone even if they planned to stab you in the back. That's what loyalty _was_, that's what **_love_** was. I didn't have to approve of my brothers' plans, I didn't have to support them, and I didn't have to _let_ _them_ stab me, but I _did_ owe it to them to make sure they made it out alive.

Honestly though, I never would have thought I'd say this...but of the two of them, I did side more with Doffy on this. Rocci was so convinced that Doffy was evil-incarnate, but honestly, compared to others in this world, what did Doffy do that was so bad?

He wanted to rule Dressrosa? They _did _have an established monarchy and we _were _the rightful rulers. He wanted to become a shichubukai to protect his personal interests? That's literally the _only _reason anyone would become a warlord. He wanted money to help him secure his future? Who didn't?

His goals were _fine_. His methods, however, well...but that was why I stayed with him, to curb some of his more grotesque plans. I couldn't control Doffy, not in the slightest, but he did respect that there were lines I wouldn't cross. Underground weapons dealer? _Fine._ Slave trader? Nope, not happening.

It was all subjective, based on no one's morality but my own, and I'm sure Doffy just felt he was humoring his "overly emotional" little sister. But I was _okay _with the darkness because it wasn't _all_ dark. I may not have been eradicating the problem but I could honestly say that I _was _helping. And that was good enough for me, because one of those lines I wouldn't cross? Yeah, it's betrayal.

Which was why Rocinante pissed me off so much. I wouldn't have minded if he'd never reached out to us. If he'd pretended we hadn't existed. Doffy knew he was alive and figured that Rocci was happier wherever he'd ended up (he was) and that had been that. Yet he'd chosen to come back, to worm his way into Doffy's confidence to report back on his _brother._ All because he felt someone needed to "stop" him.

I was pissed off, but I understood. Rocci justified it because he valued world peace over personal loyalty. And I could respect that, but-again-I lived in the grey, my brother's didn't. Doffy would never respect that, he would consider it weak even while killing Rocci with the same pistol that had killed father.

It was a horrible realization; to _understand _both sides, all possible outcomes, but to equally understand there would be _no _reconciliation, and I'd be stuck in the middle. Caught between a liar-

"Rocci?"

-and a murderer.

"..."

* * *

"Do you trust him?"

"...what do you mean?"

"I'm not playing around, Dulcinea," Doffy called eyes trained carefully on my face, watching my every expression. "Rocinante, the prodigal son returned-mute but alive-do you trust him?"

"Well, he's not _really _the prodigal son, is he? That'd be you if nothing else, and that's ignoring the fact that he's not your son, he's your-our-brother_._"

"...you didn't answer my question."

I clenched my fists, there was no right answer here. If I said 'no' that would be it, Doffy would never trust Rocci, never let him join our crew. Possibly even kill him. But if I said 'yes' then I'd be tacitly lying to him. And when that comes out Doffy would consider _me _a traitor too. I couldn't choose either answer, so I gave a different one altogether. "I did," I smirked meeting Doffy's gaze head-on, "he's our _brother_. That _is_ my answer."

"Hmm," Doffy mused, and I really should have known better than to expect him to let this go. He was not one to let _anything_, go. "Is he? Is that what you hear, 'nea? Will he treat us like family when all is said and done?"

Would he? I know how he felt about Doffy, he would happily see him behind bars, family or no. But what about me? Did he still consider himself my brother? Did he still care? He was lying to me as much as Doffy, playing the part of the mute. Was I to be collateral damage? Just another pirate to be punished? I was their strategist, after all, from an outside perspective my hands were hardly clean. Hell, even if you stood next to me you would never be able to tell that I had saved far more lives than I'd taken.

Was I as bad as Doffy in his eyes? Did he even still consider me his sister? The truth was-

"I don't know."

I didn't know, I couldn't know. But-

"I don't know, but what I _do _know is that he never will if we don't give him a chance. If we don't give him _this _chance, Doffy."

"Tsk." I could see he disagreed, Doffy demanded absolute loyalty. He didn't believe in giving chances. But some part of him must have been hoping that Rocci would one day join us, that our small family would be complete once more. Or perhaps he saw the tears building in my eyes and decided it wasn't worth the hassle to push it. Regardless of the reason, the fact remained that Rocinante was allowed to join our merry gang.

Happily accepting the codename 'Corazon' that Vergo retired to begin a promising career in espionage.

"Like the card suits," I explained to Rocci, that evening. I was certain he'd already picked up on it, but if he was gonna play the mute, I was gonna take full advantage, "Diamante for Diamonds, Pica for Pikes (Spades), Trebol for Clovers (Clubs) and you're Corazon for Hearts!"

A nod.

"Doffy doesn't get a suit, though, cause he went and got us mixed up with Kaido. You know Kaido, the Warlord? I _told_ him that we shouldn't be doing deals with some shady zoophiliac, that it was gonna get us into trouble one day. But Kaido has money and Doffy still wants to set up shop at 'rosa."

I pretended to ignore Rocci's horrified stare, "so he has to follow _Kaido's _rules, not that his rules really makes sense? Anyway, Doffy's called _Joker _when we're being all 'hush-hush' about things. So that kind of fits the _theme?"_

Rocci motioned towards me, "my name?" I guessed, "oh, that took me _ages _to decide. Doffy didn't really get it, but a girl wants to be original, you know? And well, Ace is clearly out-and I don't think Kaido would appreciate me taking any of the _other _face cards. And then it hit me! _Juego D. Cartas_. Get it? I thought it was a brilliant pun! But then Doffy said-"

"-you can't have such a suspicious pseudonym." Doffy chuckled, joining in on my fun, "I told her that the 'D' would bring in too much attention. Could you imagine, Rocinante? She nearly gave me a heart attack!"

I stuck my tongue out at my brothers and continued with my story, "yeah, well, it was too good a name to pass up! So I argued that the D _had to _stay, it was only fair after all. My name is _Donquixote Dulcinea_, and then with Doflamingo it's like, a triple layered pun! No offence, Rocci."

A nod.

"But you see? I _had _to keep it in...not that it mattered in the end," I grumbled, glaring at Doffy's red tie, "Doffy said _no_, so none of them would call me by my name! They all just say-"

"-Cartas, come play with Buffalo and me!"

"Buffalo and _I_," I corrected, instinctively, "and isn't it your bedtime?"

"Urk." I shook my head in mirth.

"You guys have 1 minute, okay? I'm just catching my brother up on some things then I'm head over there!" I shot over my shoulder, before turning back to Rocci ignoring the smile in his eyes, "...so, anyway, I was really hoping _you _would call me by my name. I mean, my fake name...fake-fake name...do you think I have too many names?"

Rocci just peered at me and I shot him a million watt smile in response. I was aiming for a, 'I'm your little sister and I'll annoy you until I get the truth' look. But judging by Rocci's fondly exasperated smirk I think he only got the 'little sister' part.

Drat, I'll just have to keep working on it.

"Well, this was fun. Great talking to you Roc-oh, Corazon! Gotta remember that one. Anyway, don't let Doffy work you too hard, 'kay? I'm off to put some brats to bed."

"Hey!" Two voices echoed from behind me.

"Hay is for horses," I responded smile pulling at my lips. "But brats can eat it too, so you better shut up or I'll feed it to _you._"

That got a silent chuckle from Rocci. It was a saying I'd heard a lot growing up this second time around, since Doffy was a stickler about the most random things (i.e. manners). I vaguely remembered Mom saying something similar, but much kinder. And I'd be willing to be that's where Doffy'd picked it up from.

Pretty sure that's what Rocci had been thinking of too.

My heart warmed.

At least _all _our memories weren't bad. It was stupid and simple but at least we had this, proof that we were siblings. Life experiences, inside jokes, _memories_ that were uniquely ours. Things that _no one _could take away, not really.

Unbidden a song rose to my lips, I used to sing all the time back then, first to mother, then to father and then to my brothers. But after we'd lost Rocci it had felt wrong to keep it up. Like some perverse admittance that he was gone for good, when he wasn't. But now that he was here it only seemed fitting to listen to my heart.

"_Fate has been cruel, and order unkind. How can I have sent you away?_" I didn't really have a reason for my song choice, it was just what came to mind. A bitter-sweet lullaby. "_The blame was my own; the punishment yours, the harmony's silent today."_ I ignored the way the entire group had quieted down, choosing to focus on the two kids who were looking at me with wonder. "_But into the stillness I'll bring you a song, and I will your company keep. 'til your tired eyes, and my lullabies, have carried you softly to sleep."_

"...ah," A voice whispered and I blinked in shock_. You sang that one to mother back when._..

"...Rocci?" I questioned, voice trembling. "Y-your voice?"

"..." My brother kept quiet staring at me with saddened eyes and a memory flashed by. A memory from the show, a quote from my brother - no, from Corazon - in response to why he'd said nothing his entire stint as a spy. _"I had nothing to say to you people."_

_**Drip.**_

_**Drip.**_

_**Drip.**_

Rocci started flipping out, arms waving spastically, but he didn't utter another sound, causing my tears to drip all the faster.

"Hug her," Doffy muttered before shoving Rocinante my way. _Weren't you the one who told me that?_

**_Pat. Pat. Pat._ **"..." _Please stop crying, smile. Like you used to do with mo-_

I sobbed. I couldn't help it.

My brother's were idiots. Honest to God idiots. And I loved them, but even being able to hear their inner voices, even having them turn to me, comfort me, I had no idea if _they _loved_ me._

I wanted this, I wanted it so bad it _hurt_. I wanted the three of us to be a family, to laugh, to cry, to _be. _It was my greatest dream. That's what this stupid world was all about, right? Chasing your dreams? Well this was mine, the thing I wanted the most, and I couldn't have it.

I was going to lose one of my brothers, maybe both, and I had _no idea_ how to prevent it.

"-ve me," I muttered through my sobs, desperate to change _something._

"...?"

"...don't leave me. Not again." I turned my eyes from Rocci to Doffy who was just standing there in silence, face serious as I'd ever seen. He was probably assuming the worst. He probably thought I just saw (heard?) one of them die. It was close enough to the truth. "Please," I begged him, begged the future him that I wasn't sure I could reach, begged the past him that had loved Rocci so much, and begged the current him who still - miraculously - listened to me. "_Please_, I don't want to lose you guys, _either_ one of you."

_I've already lost one family, I don't think I can survive losing another._

"...I, I just want to be a family again."

''...again?" Doffy chuckled, _finally_ saying something, "when did I say you could stop?" A hand pressed into my hair, "you're not allowed to leave my side. Either of you."

"..."

We both turned to look at Rocci who stared into my eyes. There was an entire story written there in a language I couldn't read. But slowly, confidently, my brother nodded at me.

_Is he just lying to me, too?_

"There, see? It's settled."

I laughed, startled. Only Doffy.

_I don't think I changed anything, not really. Yet, Rocci slipped up, he made a sound. Maybe...maybe it's okay to hope._


End file.
